Though I have always known that I would never be the star of a play, I must admit I have always wanted to be a part of a theater production here at Greenhill, even if it meant being behind the scenes.

Unfortunately, year after year, because of scheduling conflicts, I was never able to participate. By the end of junior year, I figured this was one dream that would not be realized, but in the third trimester, I stumbled on an opportunity that I felt could be my chance.

Last year, Serena Anis ‘09 was chosen to write and direct the third trimester student production and I asked her if I could help out with the technical aspects of the production on my own time. I was nervous at first, but I soon found myself growing more and more comfortable with everyone who was involved and began to feel right at home. That is, until one day, I was asked to stand in and read for one of the parts in a scene.

I was scared to perform, even in front of the 10 kids who were there, but I walked on stage, took a deep breath, and delivered my lines-all 12 of them!

Although my "audience" did not break into thunderous applause at my performance, for me, the fact that I did not totally freeze up was a tremendous accomplishment. I returned to my seat, grinning from ear to ear and patted myself on the back for my average performance.

Though I thought that my time in the spotlight was over, Serena asked me if I would be interested in really playing the part, and despite my continuing fear of performing in front of a real audience, I accepted. Though I was sometimes overwhelmed by the time commitment required and my nerves would sometimes get the best of me, ultimately my dream was finally coming true and I was conquering one of my greatest fears.

In the end, the performance went off without a hitch, and I had so much fun both on stage and behind the scenes with the cast and crew.

Though my stage fright never completely went away and I had only a small part in the play, the experience proved to be one of the most fun and rewarding times I have had during the past four years.

While I may not be seen in any major productions anytime soon, I learned to not only face my fears but also that some things are worth trying even if you may not be the best at them.

Everyone has a shortcoming, or at least one inadequate quality, that they pretend doesn’t exist. Whether it’s an embarrassing mistake or an upsetting grade on a math test, everyone makes a bad decision every now and then.

We all like to believe we’re perfect, to ignore the occasional errors in judgment while thinking that we could never be better than we already are. What I’m beginning to realize is just how those inadequacies can motivate me to make a conscious effort to be better.

If you ask any one of my friends, they’ll tell you that I am quite possibly the worst driver they’ve ever met, and if you take a look at my driving history, it might not seem like they’re wrong.

In three years, I’ve been in two major accidents which resulted in two totaled cars (in my defense, only one was my fault), one embarrassing blunder at a concert my sophomore year, and one minor run-in with my dad’s company-issued SUV that I like to pretend never happened.

Suffice to say, my track record doesn’t look that clean by anyone’s standards. To parents, I probably seem like their worst nightmare. To my friends, I’m constantly the butt of an innumerable amount of jokes. But when all is said and done, my lack of finesse as a driver is one characteristic I was constantly trying to forget.

Over the past few years, I’ve fought every bad reference to my lack of driving skills. Mind you, I’ve never claimed to be the best driver, but I’ve been teased and laughed at, patronized and criticized by anyone who knows of my reputation. Unlike most teenage drivers, I’ve never gotten a ticket, or even been pulled over, but these things don’t absolve my past faults.

Every time I offered to drive somewhere, I noticed how my friends would classically roll their eyes, shake their heads and sigh. When I did drive others, I constantly felt the need to apologize every time I did so much as slam on my brakes.

As I told myself that appearances weren’t everything and that all teenagers make mistakes behind the wheel, I began to feel like the consequences of my driving were following me around everywhere, making me a helpless recipient of so much scorn.

I refused to fully accept and take responsibility for my poor decisions. To acknowledge my faults made me feel like a failure.

Recently I realized that the sense of inadequacy I felt as a driver is not something that can be fixed with a few apologies or paying the insurance deductable. I needed to make a change in the way I looked at myself. I began acknowledging the bad as well as the good.

Like a low test grade, bad driving is something you can always control. Looking back, I know that my accidents could have been prevented if I had made a greater effort to pay attention to the way I was driving.

Mistakes shouldn’t define you, but they should motivate you to make a change and do better.

Perfection is not something we can achieve, nor is it even possible. Making mistakes is only natural. But some mistakes you can control, shaping the person you become. Whether it’s by crashing a car or failing a test, nobody’s ever perfect, but some mistakes can make a hell of a difference in the long run.